Lost In Translation

Substitute teaching in Australia continues to be a joy. Today I taught at the Junior Campus of a very well established Melbourne Boys School. It's a beautiful, well appointed campus near the bay with a combination of lovely old and new buildings. The staff is always happy and friendly. (The school provides their lunches here. Everyday. Made to order. I'd be happy too.)

Today, I had been assigned a yard duty on one of the ovals.... the field was crawling with year 7 boys with soccer balls and footy balls. After only a few short minutes, I was a bit shocked by how many  tackles  and dog piles on unfortunate students were occurring all over the field. 2 boy dog piles, 3 boy dog piles. When numbers exceeded 8, I'd  step in and diffuse them, but they were never vicious or scary, just boys joking with each other, taking the piss and having a laugh. It was a bit funny. You'd never know what would set them off, just all of a sudden, there'd be piles of bodies on the field.

40 minutes (and no injuries) later, I returned to the staff room before heading off to my next class.

Random Happy Staff Member: "And how's your day going?"(She'd just had her salad box with turkey, beetroot, cabbage slaw and carrots, no dressing.)

Me: (marveling at the animal energy of year 7 boys)"I just had a yard duty out on the oval, and I have never seen so many dog piles in my life!"

Random Happy Staff Member: (shocked)"That's terrible!"

Me: (about to interrupt and mention that no one was actually hurt....) "Oh, but..."

Random Happy Staff Member: (mood shifting somewhat) "...You would think dog owners in THIS neighbourhood would have more respect for school grounds, and pick up after their dogs on the oval!"

Another Happy Staff Member: (joining in) "Where were they? In the middle of the oval?"

I sense meaning has been lost....

Me (more slowly): "Well, all over the field, really."

Random Happy Staff Member: (mood sour now as she makes ready to leave the room) "It's a good thing I didn't volunteer for Footy Club this semester. How many years have we been asking to  put up a sign about this?!"

The Other Happy Staff  Member: (gathers her things to go)"Did the boys step or fall in any of it?"

Me: (small pause) "No. No they didn't."

Random Happy Staff Member: (leaving) "Well, that's something at least. Enjoy the rest of your day!"

In the next class, I ask the boys to clarify Australian vocabulary for me for my future reference....

DOG PILE:a pile of dog poo

That thing that happens when 2 or more people fling themselves on top of another person whilst he is prone on the grass of the oval at lunch break: STACKS ON!


The boys thought it was hilarious!! The cultural divide now established, for the rest of the day, I fielded the usual comments about "Oot and Aboot", Terence and Philip from South Park, the Canadian girl on How I Met Your Mother, bears and moose.